


Petals In His Lungs

by Goober826



Category: Kill Count, Kill Count (Webcomic)
Genre: Hanahaki AU, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Suicide thoughts, WHAT OF IT?, YEAH I WRITE FANFICS OF MY OWN WEBCOMIC, abuse mention, hanahaki, nothing happens au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 03:11:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18460268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goober826/pseuds/Goober826
Summary: Jack comes down with Hanahaki. Things don't turn out as he plans. Things don't turn out as anyone plans.





	Petals In His Lungs

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS AN AU OF MY OWN WEBCOMIC! YOU CAN READ IT HERE: https://killcount.tumblr.com/

Jack coughed and gagged over the sink, trembling in pain. His chest had been killing him all day...at first he thought he might've broken another rib, but he checked and there was no bruising, nor was the pain shallow enough…

 

After a full minute of coughing over the sink, Jack hacked up...something. 

 

He whimpered and wiped his mouth, then looked down at the sink, which was coated in blood. There, he saw a single, pink cherry blossom. 

 

_...what the fuck?  _

 

Jack stared at the thing that had come out of him for a full minute, until it hit him. He remembered studying this in one of his units...but it was so rare…! 

 

Hanahaki disease, in which the victim is pining over someone so hard that flowers start to grow in their lungs…

 

So...that meant… 

 

...fuck. 

 

Jack grabbed a bucket from under his sink, knowing he'd have more to cough up. He then opened up his laptop, and began reading up on it. He mostly ignored this chapter because, well, it was brief. Animals almost never get it. He's not a people surgeon. 

 

But...humans get it. Far more often. 

 

Jack read up on the cures. Turns out, the victim can either: 

 

One, confess their feelings and have them be returned in a genuine way. 

 

Two, have the flowers surgically removed, the feelings they felt for someone removed in the process. 

 

Or Three, die choking on some flowers. 

 

Jack sighed and closed his laptop, already knowing what was gonna happen. 

 

He was gonna die. 

 

Jack winced and placed his head in his hands, but not for too long, because he ended up going into another coughing fit, spitting more petals in the bucket, along with blood. 

 

Who did Jack even like? Well, that's an easy answer. 

 

Xavier. 

 

Jack would die for Xavier. He'd willingly get tortured for Xavier forever. He would rather die than allow Xavier to feel pain. 

 

But Xavier was with Avery. He's happy...he's happy with Avery. 

 

And that made Jack both the happiest and the saddest he could ever be. 

 

Jack didn't care if he had Xavier to himself. He just wanted Xavier to be okay. To be happy. Sure, it broke his heart, but it doesn't matter. Xavier is happy, and so is he. 

 

Even now, as he stares down at this bucket full of blood and blue and pink cherry blossoms. He would rather choke on blood and petals than hurt Xavier. 

 

That's why- 

 

_ Bzzt!  _

 

Jack flinched when he heard his phone buzz, coughing gently. He picked it up, and saw Harrison was calling. 

 

Fearful, he picked it up. 

 

“Hello?” He barely rasped. 

 

“Jack! Dude. You home from work yet?” Harrison was upbeat as normal, the low sound of revving and other cars signifying he was driving as he called. Jack suppressed another cough. 

 

“Y-yeah…” he muttered. “Th-they told me to go home early today.” 

 

“Why's that?” Harrison asked, still amused and unaware of how his friend was dying. Jack took a deep breath. 

 

“Oh...uh...I-i don't know-” He began, until the uncontrollable tickle in his chest forced him to cough and hack loudly, and he spat out some more petals. 

 

“...did you just throw up?” 

 

“Wh…? N-no...I-I just coughed.” 

 

“You're sick, dude.” 

 

“I-I'm fine-” 

 

“I'm coming over right now.” 

 

The sound of his friend hanging up played before Jack could protest. 

 

“...dammit.” He cursed, before shivering and coughing up another flower. 

  
  


When Harrison arrived, he of course didn't knock, like usual. He barged right in, and he walked over, only to stop in his tracks when he found Jack hunched over a bucket, blood dribbling down his chin. 

 

“Jack...Wh...what…” His green eyes were round, wide with absolute fear. “...Are those...flowers…?” 

 

Jack nodded, only to find himself coughing and spitting up more flowers. Harrison took a step forward, still cautious. 

 

“Th...this isn't that love-flower disease, I-is it…?!” Harrison whimpered. Jack, once again, nodded. 

 

“I'll...I-I'll be fine…” he rasped. Harrison stared at him in absolute disbelief. 

 

“Jack, you can  _ die  _ from this!” He shouted. Jack wiped the blood dribbling down his chin away with his thumb, and drew in a shuddering breath. 

 

“So?” 

 

“S... _ so!?!?”  _ Harrison scoffed in disbelief. “WH!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?” 

 

Jack frowned down at the bucket in front of him. It was strangely beautiful, actually...light pink and blue petals splattered in a dark crimson, like spots. He sighed. 

 

“...I don't care if I die, Harrison. I'll end up dying no matter what.” Jack shrugged. “The only cure is to tell him how I feel and to have the love reciprocated in a real way.” 

 

Jack let out a bittersweet laugh. 

 

“We both know that's not happening.” 

 

Harrison stared at Jack, who noticed small tears forming in the larger man's eyes. 

 

“This...th-this isn't happening…” 

 

“Harrison.” 

 

“No- n...no I  _ can't... _ I can't let you just…!” 

 

“You can, and you will.” 

 

Jack stood up, staring Harrison in the eyes. Harrison looked shocked, and Jack stepped forward. 

 

“There's no way I'm telling Xavier about this. How do you think he’ll feel, Harrison? To hear that his best friend is going to die because of  _ him _ , and because he can't return those feelings cause he's in a committed relationship?” Jack felt tears well up in his eyes. “He's gonna have that on his conscious for the rest of his fucking life. I c...I-I can't…” 

 

Jack doubled over, now hacking and coughing up more petals. He found himself on his knees on the floor. Harrison had run over and attempted to help him, absolute horror wrecking his normally bright and happy eyes. 

 

_ “I can’t let him know. I can’t let him see me like this.”  _ Jack shivered out, his long, brown hair messily splayed across his face and wet with blood from his mouth. He heaved out a sob. “I cant...I can’t hurt him, Harrison.” 

 

“Jack,” Harrison whimpered out. “No, I...this is so unfair, I…” he shut his eyes, tears rolling down his face. “No! No. You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve to die like this.” 

 

“Why the fuck  _ not!?”  _ Jack cried out, snapping his focus towards Harrison. “I’ve had a shit life, might as well end it as unfulfilling as this! I started my life unwanted, what better way to end it than a disease that emphasizes that you’re unwanted!” 

 

Harrison stared at Jack, and then let out a sob. He grabbed his friend and pulled him close, not paying any mind to the bloody flowers scattered everywhere. 

 

They didn’t say anything else. 

  
  


_________________________________

  
  


Jack attempted to trudge through the next few days, curled up in his house. He had completely isolated himself from people. Harrison and Yunlian were the only ones who knew, and they both had promised to not tell anyone else. 

 

His ribcage felt so tight. His breathing went from wheezy to barely functioning. He was coughing constantly. 

 

He was paler than usual. The world was constantly spinning. 

  
  


“You sure you don’t just want to get surgery to remove the flowers? It’ll all be over,” Yunlian had suggested at some point. Jack shook his head. 

 

“I don’t want to lose the love I have for him.” He rasped. “No one has made me happier. Nothing gives me more joy than seeing him smile. I’d rather die than live a life where that smile doesn’t show me that the sun exists.” 

  
  


The rest of the friend group noticed Jack wasn’t texting the group chat as frequently, or that he wasn’t acting like himself. He avoided all questions asking if he was okay. It broke Harrison’s and Yunlians hearts to lie to their friends that Jack was just feeling down and didn’t want to talk very much. 

  
  


There was a moment where Jack had gotten to get fresh air, standing on the porch of his small house. Harrison and Yunlian by his sides. 

 

He coughed, and ended up doubling over the railing and vomiting multiple flowers, watching lazily as they fluttered to the ground. 

 

“Yknow,” he struggled out, blinking slowly. “It...I-it’s kinda pretty, in a way…” 

 

Harrison blinked. “Th…” he looked to the flowers, and back to Jack. “The petals?” 

 

“Y-yeah…” Jack wheezed, smiling weakly. “Kinda like...a-aesthetic, y-yknow??” 

 

“You’re brain dead.” Yunlian sighed out, the corners of his lips slightly tugging upwards. Jack laughed. 

  
  


One night, Jack had felt nothing but pure impulse. His lack of grip on his mind was what pushed it, and he grabbed his phone. He texted Avery. 

 

**I Wanna Die:** Hey bro lemme ask ya smth 

**Birb** **Boy:** Go on 

**I Wanna Die:** You love Xavier, right? 

**Birb Boy:** Yeah? We’ve been dating for a few years so I sure hope I do. 

**I Wanna Die:** Do you love him more than anything else? 

**Birb Boy:** What the fuck are you getting at?? 

**I Wanna Die:** Just answer the question, dipshit. 

**Birb Boy:** Yeah, I do. He’s the love of my life. 

**I Wanna Die:** Would you do anything to make him happy? 

**Birb Boy:** Anything as long as it ain’t murder or something… 

**I Wanna Die** : Good. 

**I Wanna Die:** Promise me you won’t hurt him. 

**Birb Boy:** You think I would hurt him??? 

**I Wanna Die:** No, I trust you. I just need to double check this. Please. 

**Birb Boy:** I would never in my life hurt him. I want to make sure he’s happy in life. 

**I Wanna Die:** Thank you. 

**I Wanna Die:** I needed to hear that. 

**Birb Boy:** Jack, what’s going on??? 

 

Jack had a coughing fit when he tried to sigh, vomiting up flowers into the bucket next to him. He breathed in a shaky breath, blinking his eyes a couple times to try and get his vision back, and went back to his phone. 

 

**I Wanna Die:** Promise you won’t tell Xavier. 

**Birb Boy:** I...guess?? 

**I Wanna Die:** Truth is, I've had Hanahaki for the past week. You know why. Everyone but Xavier would know why. 

**I Wanna Die:** I think I only have a few more days to live. I can barely speak now. 

**I Wanna Die:** I’ve kept it a secret because Xavier can’t know. He can’t figure out that he’s the reason I ended up suffocating on flower petals. He just can’t. Don’t tell him. Please. 

**Birb Boy:** Holy shit 

**I Wanna Die:** Sorry to dump all this on you. Truth is I’m high as fuck off pain meds and I can barely breath. 

**Birb Boy:** Why don't you get the flowers removed!? 

**I Wanna Die:** Because i'd rather die than live without the love I feel for Xavier. He’s the only light in my life that feels this way. I can’t let go of it. 

**I Wanna Die:** Please dont tell him. 

**I Wanna Die:** Just let me die loving him. 

 

Jack exhaled and turned off his phone, staring at his ceiling. He considered ending it, right then and there. Was it worth it? He only had a few days, anyways. 

 

He could just end it. So easily. So, so easily. He knew so many different ways as to how he could. 

 

He could down bleach and burn those fucking dreaded flowers in his lungs. He could snap his own neck on a rope. He could overdose on his adderall. He could put a toaster in a bathtub.

 

He could just- 

 

_ Plink.  _

 

Jack perked up. What the fuck was that? 

 

_ Plink.  _

 

He looked to his phone real quick. A half hour had passed by since he texted Avery. 

 

Really? Had he been drowning in his existential dread for that long already?

 

_ Plink.  _

 

He blinked toward his window, and got up, walking over to it and opening it. 

 

And there was Avery. 

 

Jack didn’t live in a two story house, so...Avery was only a few feet from his window, another pebble in his hand that he was about to throw. 

 

_ You could’ve just knocked on the damn thing. Or...knocked on my door.  _ Jack thought to himself, knowing full well that he’d vomit more flowers if he tried to speak such a long and snarky sentence. 

 

“There you are,” Avery huffed out, looking weirdly anxious. “I assumed you wouldn’t answer the door, so…” 

 

“That’s fair.” Jack rasped out, only before coughing up a small amount of blood and flowers onto the grass in front of his window. Avery jumped back, eyes wide. He looked up at Jack. 

 

“That...that looks...awful.” 

 

“Ythink?” Jack’s voice was fragile, wheezy. He blinked a bit and then headed back over to his bed. Avery narrowed his eyes. 

 

“Can’t you open your front door for me?” 

 

“Nah.” Jack pasted on a shit-eating grin, to which Avery frowned and then nervously stepped over the blood and flowers in front of the window, and awkwardly climbed in. As he got in, he fell into the room, causing Jack to snort, laugh, and then violently start coughing into his bucket. 

 

“Christ, that- that’s a lot of- jack stop coughing-“ Avery nervously set a hand on Jack’s shoulder as the man wheezed and hacked into the bucket, to which the man finally sat back up and looked at Avery with a tired, angry expression. 

 

“Think I c-can help it, d-dipshit?” He wheezed out, starting to cough again to the slightest. He wiped his bloody lips with his wrist, eyeing Avery distrustfully. “Whaddaya want?” 

 

“I-“ Avery blinked rapidly, looking at Jack with a perplexed expression. “Jack, I want to talk you out of letting yourself  _ die,”  _

 

“Eh, dont worry ‘bout me.” Jack rasped, waving a hand dismissively. 

 

“No-! No. I  _ am  _ going to worry about you! You’re going to die, and-“ 

 

Avert grabbed Jack’s hand- to which Jack’s eyes widened. His heart sped up. 

 

“I don’t- Jack you don’t  _ deserve to die,  _ it...it’s stupid and- and dumb and- I don’t want you to die, okay?” 

 

Jack felt his chest flutter, and then he let out a choked wheeze sound, as if the flowers in his chest just violently multiplied. 

 

He then wheezed again, and leaned over his bucket, vomiting up an extraordinary amount of flowers. 

 

“Jack-“ Avery’s eyes grew wide with panic, and he placed his hands on Jack’s shoulders- quickly realizing the man was trembling. “Jack! Oh shit-“ 

 

Jack had grown pale, his eyes glazed over and his lips soaked in blood. Avery felt his heart pound, and he slung Jack over his shoulder. 

 

“Okay, fuck, s-so you’re...you’re coming with me-“ he winced. He felt his chest ache when Jack didn’t reply with a shitty comeback or complaint. 

 

He walked out of the house and threw Jack into the passenger's seat of his car, buckling the borderline limp figure up, shivering when he felt how cold Jack’s skin was, and then getting in on the driver’s side. He put the car into gear and drove. 

 

As he sped down the road, he let his eyes occasionally flicker to Jack- and felt a weird form of grief as he saw the pale body sway limply with the car movements, his eyes only half open and threatening to close shut every other second. His breathing was sickeningly shallow. He pressed harder on the pedal. 

 

After around 10 minutes of driving, Avery parked the car in front of his and Xavier’s house. He unbuckled and got out of the car, going over to the passengers door and opening it, unbuckling Jack and slinging him around his shoulder. 

 

Avery had to practically  _ drag  _ Jack to the front door. He twisted the doorknob, and entered the house, pulling Jack inside with him. 

 

“Avery?” Xavier’s voice echoed from upstairs. 

 

“Yeah! D-don’t worry, I’m home.” Avery called back, dragging Jack over to one of the couches. “Sorry for leaving out of nowhere! I was Uh...uh…” shit. How does he explain this?? “Checking up on something.” 

 

“Oh! Okay. Feel free to tell me about it when you wanna!” Xavier answered after a few seconds, to which Avery exhaled in relief. 

 

He flopped Jack’s form onto the couch, and stared at him with wide eyes. He shoved at him. 

 

“Alright- Jack tell me how to help you.” He practically ordered the animal surgeon. “Please?” He added after a second, his voice turning more soft and scared. 

 

Jack’s eyes stared at Avery with a half lidded expression. He chuckled weakly. 

 

“True...loves...kiss…” he whispered out, shoving on a shit-eating grin and then instantly bursting into loud coughing- blood and petals dripping out of his blue lips. 

 

“Avery??” Xavier called again, and Avery felt anxiety when he heard footsteps as his boyfriend walked downstairs. Xavier’s face revealed itself, shining with slight worry from the stairs as he looked at Avery. “Are you okay???” 

 

“I-I’m! Uh! I’m fine!” He called, his heart pounding. Oh fuck. Oh shit. Did he just ruin this for Jack? What’s gonna happen if Xavier finds out?? 

 

“What was that coughing?? It sounded really bad,” Xavier whimpered, stepping off of the last step and walking over. As he shuffled towards Avery, he noticed Jack on the couch, and let out a small gasp- covering his mouth. 

 

“Is-!? Jack?? Are you okay??” He cries out. Jack flinched a bit, and then curled up, burying his face into his knees as if hiding like that would make Xavier forget he’s there. Xavier looked towards Avery. “What’s wrong with him!?” 

 

“He’s- shit…” Avery looked at the ground, gritting his teeth and then letting out a dejected sigh. “He...he has hanahaki, Xavier.” 

 

“Hanahaki!?” Xavier squeaked, eyes going wide. He took a step back. “That- isn’t that the flower thing where you have a crush?!” 

 

“Yes, but-“ Avery blinked, and then didn’t say anything. Jack refused to look at either of them. He leaned in a bit. “He...Xavier I don’t...know what to do…” 

 

“Well!? Can’t he just get with his crush or something!?” Xavier’s breathing quickened, as if he were panicking. “Won’t that fix it!?” 

 

“That’s the  _ problem.”  _ Avery growled, now trembling as he fed off of Xavier’s own panic. “He- his crush is already with someone and-“ 

 

“Wh-!? Well- who is it!? Is it Harrison?? Yunlian?? Th-they’re both together and- and close to him- it has to be one of them, right!? It-“ 

 

“It’s  _ YOU.”  _

 

Both Avery and Xavier flinched at Jack’s shouting, Jack now sitting up and staring at Xavier with eyes full of grief and frustration. 

 

The room was dead silent. No one dared to breathe. Jack teared up, and let out a broken, wheezy sob. 

 

“It’s... _ always  _ been you.” 

 

They stared at him, tension in the air so thick you could cut through it with a knife. 

 

Xavier looked to Avery, and then Jack. 

 

“I…” he sputtered out. Xavier had always been bubbly, talkative, and so full of creativity and words that he could ramble about a single hair for hours on end. But now, he was speechless. When he opened his mouth, no words came out. 

 

Jack grit his teeth, shuttering a bit and whimpering. 

 

“I-If- if it was Harrison and Yun, I could- they both would be okay with- with something that’s poly, but-“ he wheezed out, and then broke into a violent cough, his lungs heaving as petals bursted out of his mouth and into his palm. 

 

He gasped and sputtered for breath, looking at his hands, and then he shut his eyes. 

 

“But that’s not possible, here, huh?” 

 

“Jack,” Avery began, stepping forward a tad. He bit his lip and exhaled. “Jack, I...I was trying to tell you earlier, but I...I got scared…” 

 

Jack looked up at Avery, his expression exhausted. 

 

“I...Jack, I wouldn’t mind...you...being in a relationship with us…” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Yeah! I-“ Avery’s voice cracked a tad with embarrassment, his eyes avoiding contact as he looked to the side. “I don’t know I- I’m not good with words, okay!? Not- not emotional ones...I just…” 

 

Xavier put a hand on Avery’s shoulder, staring up at him with wide, surprised eyes. 

 

“R...really?” He whispered. Avery laughed a bit awkwardly. 

 

“Y...yeah.” He muttered, shrugging a bit. “Of course.” 

 

“I...thought you hated me?” Jack blinked in surprise, wiping at his teary eyes and coughing a bit. Avery looked down at him. 

 

“What? No! No, I’m just...I always...act like that. I guess.” He whimpered, tugging at his sleeves absentmindedly and looking at the ground. Xavier smiled at him, and then at Jack, who’s eyes were glazed with shock. 

 

“I-“ he began, until he suddenly let out a choked noise, and then a cough. Then another cough. He went into a fit, wheezing and gagging as petals and blood started falling into his hands. 

 

Xavier gasped and nudged Avery. 

 

“Crap-! G-get some Tupperware or something!” He yelped, watching Jack with wide eyes. Avery stared between them for a second, and then bolted towards the kitchen. 

 

There were the distant sounds of shuffling through drawers, and Xavier sat next to Jack, hugging onto him and patting his back as he hurled up petals. 

 

Avery eventually stumbled back into the room, a bowl in hand as he gave it to Jack, who stuck his face in it. 

 

“Shh...shh, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Xavier cooed, patting Jack’s back as he gagged and hurled up flowers. 

 

At one point, he made more of a different sound, and there was a small stem covered in thorns coming out of his throat. 

 

A stem of a rose- a pink one. He gagged and it fell out, bloodied and mangled roots following it as it fell into the bowl of pink and blue petals. 

 

He inhaled- his lungs suddenly and smoothly filling with air as he did so. He coughed a bit, one more petal flying out of his mouth, and then falling into the bowl. 

 

He felt as if his body had just melted, the strain of that plant invading his body now gone, and he could finally breathe again. He shuttered a bit, and leaned back into the couch. 

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Xavier repeated, running his hand through Jack’s hair. Jack hadn’t noticed before, but he felt Avery’s warmth on the other side of him, sitting next to him and attempting to comfort him. 

 

Jack let out a sigh, and then started laughing, rubbing at his face and putting his hands through his hair. 

 

“I’m- I...this is. Wow.” He rasped out, blinking at the ceiling. He laughed again and ran his fingers through his hair. He then started crying. “I...I don’t know what even…” 

 

“Are you okay?? Were those all the flowers??” Avery asked. Jack coughed a bit, nodding. 

 

“I...I-I think so,” he wheezed. “My...my throats killing me, though.” 

 

“Well, you should probably get some rest,” Xavier laughed a bit. “I doubt you’ve gotten any...god, how long have you had that??” 

 

“I...at least a week…? I lost track of time…” jack mumbled, his eyes half lidded. “Too many pain meds…” 

 

“Okay, well,” Avery laughed awkwardly. “Uh, I don’t- are we dating? Are we in a relationship now, or?”

 

“I think uh...the...the flower gods decided for us.” 

 

“Hanahaki isn’t caused by  _ flower gods,”  _ Avery laughed, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure there’s a scientific explanation for it. Jack, you’re a surgeon, what causes it?”

 

Jack didn’t respond, and Avery perked up with raised eyebrows. 

 

Jack was passed out. 

 

“Damn, Okay, then.” He sighed a bit, and Xavier laughed. 


End file.
